Bold everything that applies to you [Only the "I'm ....." part that applies to you"

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm CZECH, so I MUST love beer and sausage and be stubborn.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly. [[ain't that the truth]]
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I have friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy/girl, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs/nuts.
I'm a METALHEAD so I MUST worship SATAN.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE, So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist.
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippie.
I CHAT ONLINE, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IMMATURE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology, therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I'm A WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick and I MUST worship the devil.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm AUSTRALIAN so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I LOVE MARCHING BAND, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I AM FRIENDS WITH A CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I CRY EASILY, so I MUST be a wimp.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DONT LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.
I like YAOI so I MUST pair up every male anime/manga character I see.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.

[link]

PLEASE SIGN THIS PETITION IF YOU EVEN LIKE THE SEARS TOWER A LITTLE TINY BIT!

You have to be 13 to sign it.
So I'm gonna wait 'till Saturday to sign.
=]

The Eight Names Meme:

1. YOUR REAL NAME
Desirae

2 . YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)
Desizzle

3 . YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal)
Purple Cat

4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
Hurde

5. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite drink}
Lime Green Root Beer

6. YOUR IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, first two letters of your middle name, last two letters of your first name then last three letters of your last name)

Eranaerst

7.YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (both parents middle name)
Ann

8. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets)
black Pretty Bird
O.O ^he was yellow.....

Dear Shiela,

I dont really know how to tell you this, but you're a pervert. I thing I realized it when your dwarf bit me, as you were eating Kraft Dinner and I saw you hit on my boyfriend. I'm syre you're cowardly enough to understand the middle-east is planning their revenge on you. I'm returning your love letters to me from you but I'll keep the oil tank from your car as a memory. You should also know that I hate your cooking and you ruined my attempts at another world war and world domination.

Go mild a cow
Dez

Dear (Your Friends Name),

I don't really know how to tell you this, but (_1_). I think I realized it (_2_), (_3_) and I saw you (_4_) (_5_).
I'm sure you're (_6_) enough to understand (_7_).
I'm returning (_8_) to you, but I'll keep (_9_) as a memory.
You should also know that I (_10_) and (_11_).

(_12_),
(_YOUR NAME_)


1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue – our romance is over
Red – our affair is over
White – I’m joining the Convent
Black – I dislike your eyelashes
Green – our socks don't match
Grey – you're a pervert
Yellow – I'm selling myself for candy
Pink – your nostrils are insulting
Brown – the mafia wants you
No shirt – you're mean
Other – I'm in love with your cat

2. Which is your birth month?
January – that night you picked your nose
February – last year when you peed your pants
March – when your dwarf bit me
April – when I tripped on peanut butter
May – when I threw up in your sock drawer
June – when you punched me in the face
July – when you smacked my butt
August – when I saw the purple monkey
September – when you farted in the bathtub
October – when I quoted Forest Gump
November – when your dog humped my leg
December – when I finally changed my underwear

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos – in your apartment
Lasagna – in your car
Pasta – outside of your office
Hamburgers – under the bus
Salad – as you were eating Kraft Dinner
Chicken – in your closet
Kebab – with Jean Chrétien
Fish – in a clown suit
Sandwiches – at the Elton John concert
Pizza – at the mental hospital
Hot dog – under a street light
Other – with George Bush and Stephen Harper

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow – hit on
Red – insult
Black – ignore
Blue – knock out
Purple – pour syrup on
White – carve your initials into
Grey – pull the clothes off
Brown – put whipped cream on
Orange – castrate
Pink – pull the pants off of
Barefoot – sit on
Other – drive over

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black – my boyfriend
White – my father
Grey – the Catholic Priest
Brown – your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Purple – my corned beef hash
Red – my knee caps
Blue – my salt-beef bucket
Yellow – my illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange – my Blink 182 cd
Pink – the Montreal Canadian’s goalie
None – my prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude
Other - the elephant in the corner

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs – man
O.C. – emotional
One Tree Hill – open
Heroes – frostbitten
Lost – high
House – sly
Simpsons – cowardly
The news – scarred
Idol – masochistic
Family Guy – senile
Top Model – middle-class
Other – ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy – how awful you are
Sad – how boring you are
Bored – that Santa doesn't exist
Angry – that your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – that we’re related
Excited – that I may pee my pants
Nervous – the middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried – that your car sucks
Apathetic – that you need a sex-change
Ashamed – that I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly – that I eat garbage
Silly – that there is no solution to you being dumb
Other – that your driving sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White/Beige – your toe ring
Yellow – your love letters to me
Red – your Elton John poster
Black – your pet rock
Blue – the couch cushions
Green – the pictures from Vegas
Orange – your false teeth
Brown – your nose hair clippers
Grey – our matching snoopy underwear
Purple – your New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink – the cut toenails
Other – your booger collection

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B – your photo with the mustache drawn on it
C/D – the oil tank from your car
E/F – your neighbor's dog
G/H – my chastity belt
I/J – the results of that blood-sample
K/L – your left ear
M/N – your book of poetry
O/P – my common sense
Q/R – your mom
S/T – your collection of butterflies
U/V – your criminal record
W/X – your glass eye
Y/Z – your lock of hair

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B – told my psychiatrist about the bruises
C/D – never will forget that night
E/F – always wanted to break your legs
G/H – hate your cooking
I/J – mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L – will tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard
M/N – gave my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P – was interviewed about the car you stole
Q/R – always will remember the pep talks
S/T – get sick when I think of your feet
U/V – will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X – haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Coffee – I will haunt you when I’m incarnated as an Eskimo
Milk – the apartment building is on fire
Water – thanks for the cocaine
Cider – I have a passionate interest for spiders
Juice – you ruined my attempts at another world war and world domination
Mineral water – you should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot Chocolate – your cucumber fetish is weird
Beer – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Wine – our friendship is ruined
Hard Liquor – I love Oprah Winfrey
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia – Best of luck on the sex change
France – Love always
Spain – Go drown yourself
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan – Go milk a cow
Greece – Your everlasting enemy
USA – Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England – With tears of sadness

Natural Hair Color:
[x] Brown - $100
[] Blonde - $50
[] Black - $15
[] Bald - $5
[] Other-$75

Total: $100


Eye Color:
[x] Brown - $50
[] Green - $75
[] Blue $150
[] Hazel $100
[] Other - $15

Total so far: $150

Height:
[] Over 7′ - $200
[] 6′8″ to 7′ - $175
[] 6′0″ to 6′7″ - $150
[] 5′5″ to 5′11″ - $75
[x] 5′4″ to 5′10″ - $85
[] Under 5′4 - $27

Total so far: $235


Age:
[ ] 50 to 56 - $175
[ ] 46 to 50 - $150
[ ] 41 to 45 - $125
[ ] 31 to 40 - $100
[ ] 26 to 30 - $75
[ ] 21 to 25 - $50
[ ] 19 to 20 - $25
[x] 0 to 18 - $100

Total so far: $335


Birth Order:

[] Twins or more than twins - $750
[] First Born - $320
[] Only Child - $250
[x] Second born - $150 (out of 2)
[] Middle child - $100
[x] Last Born - $100
[] third born - $550
[] fourth born - $300
[] fifth born - $400
[] sixth born -$215

Total so far: $585

Drink?
[] I did like twice - $400
[] Only Holidays - $250
[] Sometimes - $215
[] YES - $200
[] only weekends - $300
[] Every other day - $50
[] Once a day - $15
[] I live from the bottle - $Bankrupt$
[x] No - $600

Total so far: $1,185


Vision?
[x] perfect vision $400
[] need or have glasses/ contacts but dont wear them $200
[] No correction $100
[] Glasses $50
[] contacts $25
[] Surgical correction -$100

Total so far: $1,585

Shoe Size:
[] 13+ - $300
[] 12 and a half to 13 - $250
[] 11 to 12 - $400
[x] 7 to 10 - $500
[] Under 7- $450

Total so far: $2,085


Favorite Colors (two):
[] Green-$750
[] Red - $600
[] Black - $100
[] Yellow -$475
[] Brown - $300
[x] Purple - $225
[] White - $400
[] Aqua - $350
[] Orange - $300
[] Blue - $300
[] Pink - $100
[x] Other - $500

Total: $2,810


Did you use a calculator to add it all up?
[] Yes $0
[x] Nope - $1000
[] some- $750

Final Total: $3,810

REPOST WITH TITLE:

“I cost $---- A Night!”